OLD HANDSOME JOE
“Evans, don’t turn around.”
“Why? What’s behind me?”
“No, it’s cool, I have a plan. Wait for it. Wait for it. Okay when I tell you to, shove your hands in your pockets. Of the khakis, not the coat.”
“Why would I — “
“Evans, have I or have I not spend this entire shoot giving you fucking awesome advice?”
“I haven’t actually tried out most of it yet.”
“Hids, back me up.”
“He does have a lot more experience than we do, Chris. I’d do as he says.”
“Not yet! Not yet! Now.”
“Okay, I’m doing it! Why are my hands in my pockets again?”
“Because you just showed your magnificent ass to an entire crowd of photographers. No! Stay there! Show off what God and untold hours in the gym gave you. Your ass is worth a thousand words.”
“I did a movie where I took my pants off, you know.”
“And nobody watches it for any other reason, trust me. It was terrible. Mark?”
“It was a bad movie, Chris.”
“I know that! I had rent to pay!”
“Calm the hell down, we’ve all been there, you think I liked doing Less Than Zero? Okay, you can take your hands out of your pockets, they’re moving on to Scarlett.”
“I’m not sure I should be listening to you anymore.”
“You should always listen to Robert, Chris.”
2) Twat swat
3) Clam jam
5) Beaver impeder
6) Taco blocko
VAGECTED I AM CRYING
welcome to the jam
the clam jam
…clitorference… OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Lesbian friends: please find yourself in a situation where I can use these terms soon. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.
What if alongside the Odinsleep
there was Odinsleepwalking
so one night Laufey opens his ice-curtains or whatever
and he’s in his dressing gown and he’s like
“for fuck’s sake Odin go home—oh my god you’re not even wearing shoes”
and brings him inside until Frigga arrives to take him back home
hair in fucking curlers
This article from the May issue of National Geographic broke my heart.
wait, did that koala break his arms?
is he wearing tiny koala arm casts?
The senators’ scene finished, all that remained was what the cast and crew clearly viewed as the day’s main event: John McCain’s arrival. That riveted even the corps of extras milling around the ersatz green room.
He made straight for Ms. Poehler. His first words to her: “Do you remember when we shared a shower together?” That elicited another cackle of delight.
Later Mr. McCain answered coolly when asked why he accepted the cameo. “Because they asked me,” he said. “It’s one of my favorite shows.” (x)
For those of you who have the desire to watch 2001 era Tom Hiddleston perform in a Greek-language version of Elektra.
Do you, Deb?
I HATE YOU TRYS. I DON’T EVEN SPEAK GREEK! OR ANCIENT GREEK. ANY GREEK. IT’S ALL GREEK TO ME … and now I’m going to watch a play in Greek. (I hope there are subtitles.) I’d blame Tom, but let’s face it, this is all on us.